Read these 9 Quick Quotes and Quips Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Christian tips and hundreds of other topics.
So you would like to be amusing without raising too many eyebrows? Here are five jokes/riddles that will leave people chuckling.
1) Make sure you say this one and don't write it down as the written version gives away the answer right away. "There are fifty wolves and forty eight (ate) sheep. How many did not?" The answer is ten. (It may take people a minute to process that one.)
2) What word becomes shorter by adding two letters? answer: short.
3) Do you need a pet? I NO-AH guy…
4) This one came off a sign…"Don’t worry if you feel like you can’t get it all together, Moses was a basket case too!”
5) And what comedian doesn't have a priest joke? "A priest is driving home. A police officer behind the priest notices that he is swerving a little bit, so he pulls him over. "Sir", the officer asks "Have you been drinking a little bit tonight"? "Only water," the priest replies. The officer suspicious, shines his flashlight into the priest's car. He notices an empty bottle of wine in the passenger seat. The priest follows his eyes and cries "Good Lord", he's done it again!
The following five quotes are tops in how they can be adapted to a variety of uses. They are also effective for most types of friendships, from the childhood buddy to the maid of honor at a wedding.
1. From the medieval Jesuit writer Baltasar Gracián, on the importance of friendship:
"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil."
2. From Saint Augustine, on the importance of friendship:
"Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods."
3. From Colossians 3:12-14, on how to treat friends:
"Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
4. From John 15:12-15, on loving friends:
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."
5. From Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, on the necessity of friendship:
"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."
The following five quotes are directly from the Bible and relate to the necessity for and act of forgiveness.
1. The Bible describes the importance of forgiveness in Mark 11:25:
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."
2. The Bible elaborates on the importance of forgiveness in Matthew 6:14-15:
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
3. The Bible explains how the Lord views forgiveness in Isaiah 1:18:
"Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."
4. The Bible instructs you in how to show forgiveness in Micah 7:18-19:
"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea."
5. The Bible also emphasizes the need to forget the wrongs done in Hebrews 10:17:
"Then he adds: 'Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more'."
So, next time you feel someone has wronged you, remember the words from these wise men. Forgiveness is Christian – and it is of the utmost importance.
1. "You can do more than pray after you have prayed; but you can never do more than pray until you have prayed." -A.J. Gordon
2. "Don't pray when you feel like it. Have an appointment with the Lord and keep it. A man is powerful while on his knees." -Corrie ten Boom
3. "Satan trembles when he sees the weakest Christian on his knees." -Allen E Vartlett
4. "Prayer is the real work, Eveangelism is just the mopping up. -Uncredited
5. "You may as soon find a living man that does not breath, as a living Christian that does not pray." -Matthew Henry
1. “Love is the sum of all virtue, and love disposes us to good.” -Jonathan Edwards
Jonathan Edwards lead colonial America in an early revival of devotion toward God. His famous sermon, “Sinners in the Hands of An Angry God” has been the catalyst for millions of salvation experiences.
2. “I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, ‘How many good things have you done in your life?’ rather he will ask, ‘How much love did you put into what you did?” -Mother Teresa
Mother Teresa spent her entire life doing good for those around her, and yet she understood that just doing good would not be enough, if that good is not coupled with love.
3. “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.” -Jesus Christ
Only when we can see others as their creator sees them can we really know true love.
4. “Falling in love in a Christian way is to say,’I am excited about your future and I want to be part of getting you there. I’m signing up for the journey with you. Would you sign up for the journey to my true self with me? It’s going to be hard but I want to get there.” -Timothy Keller
Falling in love has been diluted and polluted to such a point that few people understand how true love is a vehicle to help another reach their true potential.
5. “The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.” -Joshua Harris
In a world where intimacy is often misunderstood, we must remember that intimacy was a gift from God intended to bind us together to our true mate in order to honor God and build his kingdom.
1. "A family is a place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living." - Chuck Swindoll
2. "A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian, and most of all, his family ought to know." - D.L. Moody
3. "The family circle is the supreme conductor of Christianity." - Henry Drummond
4. "He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home, and broods a nest of sorrows."
5. "What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God." - Martin Luther
Here are 5 powerful quotes regarding work, working hard, and maintaining your faith throughout:
1. "Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you." -Saint Augustine
2. "Read the Bible. Work hard, and honestly. And don't complain." - Billy Graham
3. "If God is satisfied with the work, the work may be satisfied with itself." - C.S. Lewis
4. "Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work." - Charles Kingsley
5. "Any man can work when every stroke of his hands brings down the fruit rattling from the tree but to labor in season and out of season, under every discouragement… That requires a heroism which is transcendent." - Henry Ward Beecher
1. “The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, 'O God, forgive me,' or 'Help me.'” - Billy Graham
Billy Graham was one of the predominate Christian leaders of our time. His words and wisdom have led millions of individuals to know Christ and to live a richer, deeper Christian life. Perhaps no other American minister has had as great an influence on the souls of our country.
2. “To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer.” - Martin Luther
Martin Luther made great sacrifices for the liberty of gathering as Christians. This should be an encouragement to those of us who do not have to face such hardships just to attend church where we like.
3. “And that's the great thing about living the Christian life and trying to live by faith, is you're trying to get better every day. You're trying to improve.” - Tim Tebow
Christian words of encouragement from our contemporaries like Tim Tebow gives hope to many. It assures us that regular people can glorify God, not just saints.
4. “I'm trying to lead a good Christian life, so there ain't too much spicy to tell about me.” - Loretta Lynne
If we obey God a good reputation will be the natural result as it was in Mrs. Lynne’s life. Even as a celebrity in show business she was able to maintain her Christian reputation.
5. “The bottom line in the Christian life is obedience and most people don't even like the word.” - Charles Stanley
Reverend Stanley often tried to help individuals understand the simplicity of the Christian life as this quote shows us. But sometimes it is the simplest things that seem the most complicated.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|