Be Determined

Every day you have a choice. You can decide to view life negatively or you can embrace life with all its variants. We shouldn´t expect every day to be a "smooth sailing" one. Some days are tougher than others, but we always have a choice on how we will face it. We also need to give ourselves "an attitude adjustment" every now and then.

Psalm 118:24, "This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

Let Others Know!

If this is a tough time for you either physically or emotionally, let others know ahead that you will be doing less for awhile. People are usually a lot more understanding than we give them credit for, and they will appreciate your being up-front about your situation. It will also help them admit their own need when stressful times come into their lives.

Seek God´s Wisdom

Perhaps you need to make new spiritual goals or renew old ones. Asking God´s help was the first part of my own plan. Memorizing scripture was another key. When tempted to give in to despair, a verse would come to my aid. I suffered much of my depression not knowing what was wrong. I´m glad I did get both medical and psychological help. However, other things were going on in my life and God´s word at times was all that kept me going. (See tips under "Memorizing Scripture.")

Psalm 119:105, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."

Keeping Track of Time

"Where has the day gone?" We´ve all asked ourselves that question. You can keep track of how fast time is passing by using a timer throughout the day -- especially helpful when working on a computer when hours seem to go by in only minutes!

No Fair Complaining

Just when I think I know it all, someone comes along with a wealth of new knowledge. We make a big mistake every time we compare ourselves with others, either to think we know more, or to think that we know less. "Everyone is ignorant -- only on different subjects." -- Unknown

2 Cor. 10:12, "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."

Some Negatives Are Positive

Emotions are meant to help us, even when they are negative in nature. For example, depression is a sad feeling that doesn´t go away. Though it is usually associated with some kind of loss or tragedy in life, it could also be a symptom of a physical illness such as diabetes, or perhaps it´s a result of burnout. There could also be hidden sin (by ourselves or another) that our emotions are trying to get us to face, maybe something that happened a long time ago but was never resolved. Bitterness, for instance, is an emotion that can cause physical illness but would be almost impossible for a regular physician to detect.

Psalm 139:23,"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts."

2. Promise Cards

My personal "Rainy-Day Depression Kit" for short-term depression includes:

Cards on which I have written favorite Bible verse promises like, "They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength..." (Isa. 40:31) and "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (II Tim. 1:7) These verses give me strength when I remember that nothing ever happens without God´s knowledge and He always keeps his promises. When reading my Bible, I write down verses I come across that help me personally and put them in my "kit" for later. For example, Matthew 6 has several verses that always help dispel any financial anxiety I might be going through.

Verses for Strength

VERSES FOR STRENGTH

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philip. 4:13

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Isaiah 40:29,31

*Self-Caused Emotional Problems

You have decided to get better and you´ve had a physical checkup. You´ve perhaps had a brain scan to rule out a tumor, and maybe you´ve even gone to a psychiatrist and/or therapist. You may have tried several medications before finding one that helped. Okay, you do feel better now, but something is still wrong and the doctors can´t find out what. If that is your case, perhaps it´s time to look deeper inside for an answer.

Psalm 139:23-24. "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

The Real Tragedy

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the Light. -- Unknown

John 3:19; 8:12, "And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life."

Why Are You Crying?

Finding the cause of negative emotions isn´t always easy, but it is well worth it! Why are you having crying spells so often? Are you just having a "blue" day -- or are you suffering from true (clinical) depression? Is your lethargy and sluggishness caused by laziness, coming from allergies, or are you experiencing a thyroid problem? Having a thorough physical checkup is a good place to start your quest. In addition, you need God´s wisdom to make decisions concerning your problem once you have found the true reason.


James 1:5," If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

Balance

Balance and control are necessary for good emotional health. When our emotions are out of sync, we can´t do and be our best. Our lives need a balance in all areas, including the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual. If one is out of balance, all the others are affected also.

3 John 1:2, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."

Self Pity

No one can afford the high cost of self pity and being miserable. We need to exercise our minds as regularly as we do our bodies. As the saying goes, "Garbage In, garbage out!"

Paul says, "And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men." Acts 24:16

How can we accomplish this seemingly impossible feat? By exercising the mind to think right thoughts:

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true,
"whatsoever things are honest,
"whatsoever things are just,
"whatsoever things are pure,
"whatsoever things are lovely,
"whatsoever things are of good report;
"if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise,
"think on these things." Philippians 4:8

So breathe deeply -- and remember:

In with the right thoughts,
Out with the bad!
In with the right thoughts,
Out with the bad!

Homemade or Bought?

You don´t have to do a lot of baking for family get-togethers, though I know your heart yearns to. Everybody loves spaghetti, right? That´s what I served last Thanksgiving. My children and grandkids ate at home or with in-laws on Thanksgiving Day. By Friday, they were ready for a change from turkey. They truly enjoyed the simple meal of spaghetti, meat sauce, salad, yeast rolls, cake and tea -- and each family brought one of the items with them. How nice for me!

Admitting Our Weaknesses

Until we learn our emotional weaknesses, we won´t be able to strengthen those areas and will remain vulnerable to letting our emotions control us. Most of us mistakenly think we know ourselves -- until we unexpectedly encounter an emotion we didn´t think we were capable of displaying so avidly. We are shocked to find just how much hate or livid anger is lurking deep within us.

Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"

*Friends Or Foes?*

Emotions are feelings that come from deep inside us. Positive emotions, like happiness and contentment, make us feel good. Examples of negative emotions are anger, sadness and fear. While we all want the "good feelings", it is inevitable that we sometimes experience negative ones, and that is not always bad. Our bodies, through our emotions, could be telling us that something is wrong -- and that can be a good thing.

Psalm 144:15, "Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord."

Is the Need Spiritual?

The physical, emotional, mental and spiritual are so closely linked that when one area is needy, all are affected. If you think you might have an unresolved spiritual need, you can go directly to God and his word for help. You don´t have to go through a preacher, minister or priest, though that might be good to do if you know one who is biblically sound. If you want to read some scriptures on a specific topic, but don´t know where in the Bible to find them, you will find several references listed under topics in your Bible´s concordance, if it is a good reference Bible. If you don´t find what you are looking for there, write me and I will do my best to help. A great little, inexpensive paperback book is "God´s Promises For Your Every Need." Another is "The Bible Promise Book." Both cost less than $5.00 and have more than 1,000 verses on many topics.

Hebrews 4:15-16, "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

Personalize Your Plan

There is a plan suited to your personal needs -- you just have to figure it out.. For example, you may have learned your mood swings are caused by diabetes. Your plan will be pretty much the diet the doctor orders, and possibly medication. If your medication isn´t working as well as you think it should, ask your doctor to prescribe another until you have the right one for your situation. Take whatever action is necessary for the healing of your emotions and body, and don´t depend solely on your doctor. Only you know what is working for you, and your doctor needs your feedback.

Psalm 119:99, "I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation."

You Choose the View

We each choose our own perspective. Your glass is as full as you want it to be. "Some people wonder why God made thorns on roses; others wonder why He made roses among thorns." -- Unknown

Deut. 30:19, "…I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live."

Tickle Your Funny Bone

Have you ever been so tired you could drop, then someone said or did something so funny you had a good belly laugh? You probably needed the emotional release as much or more than you needed physical rest. So take a tip and PLAN to laugh every day. Subscribe to a clean-jokes web site, ask friends to share their favorite chuckles, collect puns or written jokes -- whatever tickles your funny bone. Remember, a merry heart is like good medicine (Pro. 17:22) and pleasant words "health to the bones." (Pro. 16:24) That means laughter even helps arthritis!

Getting Help

Christians not only can and do encounter emotional problems, we also have an advantage in that we have the Great Physician on our side to help us. We also have medical professionals, Christian psychologists and counsellors, Christian friends and mentors. With that in mind, we can examine our emotions, learn to better control them, and learn when and where to get help and healing for our damaged emotions.

Romans 8:18, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

3. Music Therapy

In my "kit" for depression, I keep tapes and CDs of favorite songs that uplift my spirit and turn my mind toward God and worship. Depression and thankfulness cannot co-exist at the same time. If I turn my heart toward praising God, the depression will have to go! I´m prone to forget between times just how much a good song for the heart will lift me out of depression, but if I have it in my "kit" I won´t have to remember which one it is; it will already be there without any decision on my part. (And when you get depressed, any decision can be overwhelming, even if it´s just a minor one like what tape to listen to.)

What is Wisdom

Wisdom consists in knowing what to do with what you know. -- Unknown

Proverbs 21:20, "There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up."

Wherever-You-Are Exercise

Exercise your neck, arms, shoulders, even legs by tensing and stretching/flexing when they BEGIN to feel tired or achy. You can do this almost anywhere, whether sitting or standing, even while talking on the telephone or working at your computer!

Social Activities

If too many social activities are causing you stress, drop those you don´t enjoy and/or are able to omit, and limit the length of time you spend at the ones you attend. Maybe at some point you can leave early, or skip a few preliminaries. Always be polite, but remember, you DO have a choice!

*Pseudo-Emotions

Things are not always what they seem. Physical problems can cause a person´s emotions and disposition to change, sometimes overnight. For example, women who suffer PMS (premenstrual syndrome) know the emotional upheaval they go through around "that time of month." They become irritable with themselves and everyone around them. A few days later they are their sunny "real selves" again. Other physical causes of emotional stress can include pain, disease, a chemical imbalance in the body or brain, or even a reaction from medication. When we are not well, it is most important that our minds are yielded to Christ so we won´t give in to despair.

2 Cor. 4:8-10, "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body."

Up or Down?

To reduce tiredness, try to vary your work by alternating between sitting and standing tasks. For example, stand to mix a meatloaf and put it in the oven, then sit and write a letter. Stand again to finish cooking your meal.

*The Christian Myth*

Christians never have emotional problems, right? Wrong! Throughout the Bible are examples of emotional extremes by people who followed God, from Elijah, who became severely depressed after his great victory at Mt. Caramel, to the disciple Peter, who lost his temper and cut off a soldier´s ear. But the story doesn´t end with their failures. These and many other Bible characters became emotionally stronger after they learned their weaknesses, and so can you!

Psalm 119:67, "Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word."

Take Action

After you have found the reason for your negative emotions, you need to get busy working toward emotional wellness. If your problem is physical, your doctor will help you work toward your goal in the physical realm. If from a mental condition, you need to consult a mental health professional. (This is nothing to be ashamed of. After years of suffering from depression, I decided to get help. With the help of God, physicians, medication and my own understanding of my emotions and genetic background, I have come up from a state of hopelessness to emotional and mental wellness again. Maintenance, of course, will always be part of my life, but I no longer live in the dark pit I once did.) Go for it!

2 Tim. 1:7, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Limit Chore Time

You won´t tire as easily if you can limit the time spent on any one job. Alternate your time between two or more things. For example, work on crafts for an hour, then spend an hour baking before going back to crafts or another project.

Don´t Compare Yourself With Others

When we compare ourselves with others, we either feel inferior or superior. Neither is a true assessment. There will be times you can give more of your time and means; other times you must do less. Don`t compare what you could do yesterday with what you can do today. Neither compare what you can do today with what others do today. God doesn`t expect you to do what another does, nor does He want you to look down on those who accomplish less. He only wants you to do the things He has asked you to do, at the time He has given them, and to do them with the abilities He has given you personally.

"… but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." 2 Cor. 10:12

Telephone Headset for Relief

A telephone headset is almost a necessity for busy people or those with arthritis/fibromyalgia in the neck, shoulder, or arm areas. If your phone doesn´t adapt to a headset, you can buy a cheap cordless one that does for as little as $20 to $30. It is worth every penny for the pain relief and/or time saved as you can do other things while you talk, and without staying in one position that causes you pain or discomfort.

Make That Decision

For some, making the decision to get well may be the hardest step, but it´s a necessary one. "Of course I want to get well!" you may protest. Yet sometimes it is easier to stay in the state you are in because you feel it will be too difficult to change. Of course it is -- by yourself! That´s why a decision to get help is so important. You can´t do it alone, or you would have already done so, right? You must answer the same question Jesus asked the man who had been lame 38 years: "Wilt thou be made whole?" (John 5:6) Decide right now you are going to get better. You are going to find out what kind of help you need and you are going to get it!

Mark 9:24, "And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

It Takes Both

When things go wrong, remember: "It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow. And never forget, the sun is always shining somewhere, even when it´s behind a cloud." -- Beverly Hyles I keep that written beside my computer to remind me that God is always there, even when I don´t feel his presence.

Matthew 5:45, "That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."

You Do Make a Difference

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And that which I can do, by the grace of God, I will do. -- D.L.Moody

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

Example One/ Self-Caused Problems

The onset of depression may have started from a feeling of rejection or being treated unfairly. This turned to bitterness, which ultimately turned into clinical depression that the sufferer couldn´t pull out of on his own. That was my own case, though I didn´t realize it at the time. Many psychologists believe most depression is the result of bitterness that has been allowed to grow after a hurt or loss. (I went through denial when I first heard this, but after time had passed, I came to realize bitterness was at least a major factor in my own depression.) If bitterness is troubling you, you will never be happy until it has been rooted out. The deeper the roots, the harder the job but the more necessary.

Hebrews 12:15, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."

Example Two/ Self-Caused Problems

Your problem may be out-of-control anger. While bitterness doesn´t always show up on the outside, anger usually does. Anger can be rooted in a past hurt, improper discipline during childhood or just plain selfishness. It can be aggravated by a physical problem. Now it has spiraled until it´s now out of control because no one, including yourself, had the courage or knowledge to stop it. Do you have the courage now, at least to start going in the other direction before your anger destroys yourself and those you love? (Read more tips under Anger.)

Proverbs 25:28, "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls."

1- Getting a Jump Start on Depression

For those times when life seems overwhelming, a "Rainy-Day Depression Kit" can be better than a doctor´s prescription! Some things I keep in my "kit" include Bible verse promises, musical tapes and CDs, magazines and a book I haven´t read, special thoughts and quotes I´ve written down in the past, my journal entries and answers to prayer. Maybe you can adapt these ideas for yourself or someone you know -- or at least get some thoughts ahead for those times when depression has crept in before you were even aware it was coming.

Quickie 10-Minute Rest

When you take a 10-minute break during the day, lie down instead of sitting. Read a chapter of your favorite book. You will feel like you rested an hour compared to a sitting break. (Set a timer if you think you might doze off.)

Who´s In Control?

We don´t have to let our emotions take control of our lives, no matter what our background or genetic makeup. (There are exceptions, of course, such as people with certain severe mental illnesses. However, the purpose here is to provide help with the usual emotional struggles in life. It is not meant to take the place of mental health professionals.) When we get overwhelmed and can´t get our bearings alone, help is available through a variety of sources, including the medical professions, our families, good friends, and God and his Word.

Romans 6:16, "Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?"

Learn To Be Ignorant

It doesn´t really hurt so much to admit you made a mistake. No one knows everything, and no one is right all the time. "To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step toward knowledge." -- Unknown

1 Cor. 8:2, "And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know."

Share the Stress!

Limit the stress you allow from others by politely saying "no," or at least cut down on the amount of the work you accept. For example, when you have a family get-together at your house, "share the joy" by asking each member to bring one item -- the dessert, entree, salad, or bread and drinks. They will love this system, too -- especially the next time it´s their turn to be host or hostess!

Listen With Your Heart

People who are happy-go-lucky all the time have it made -- or so the rest of us think. If the truth were known, many who have an outward show of happiness are masking tears inside that need to get out. Some people, rather than let their true emotions show, will make a joke of everything. Others will snap in anger. We should try to hear another´s heart speaking as well as his words. When Job tried to tell his friends what anguish he was going through, they mistakenly kept insisting his problems were the result of sin in his life. We need to be careful how we judge others during their times of emotional burdens.

Job 7:11, "Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul."

Babysitting Limits

If you babysit your grandchildren or others, only you know how long you can do so without stress, so YOU must set the hours. If you´re not a morning person, only babysit later in the day. If four hours is your limit, then say so. If one session a week is all you can handle, then don´t babysit twice unless it´s an emergency. No one wins with a "used" and stressed-out babysitter!

Turning Points

Many times the trials I faced in the past turned out to be a turning point in my life. Because of the trials, we are made better for the future. "The Lord sometimes takes us into troubled waters not to drown us, but to cleanse us." -- Unknown

Isaiah 43:2, "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee."

Reduce Telephone Time

Let the answering machine take your phone calls! Return those necessary when doing routine jobs. Some good work-while-you-talk tasks are sewing on buttons or other mending, washing dishes, ironing, baking, folding clothes or anything that doesn´t require a lot of concentration.

When Do I Get Wisdom?

When do we get wisdom? After we admit to ourselves we don´t have it. "To admit that I have been wrong is but saying that I am wiser today than I was yesterday." -- Unknown

Proverbs 12:15, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise."